the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
