The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
