There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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