pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
