i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
