Just fell off a train. Bad.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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