More tranny stories later!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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