Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
