just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
