i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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