lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
