I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize