I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
