3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
