how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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