He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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