I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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