HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Your cock deserves a montage
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize