OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just high enough for therapy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
