Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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