he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
