This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
