Whod you bang
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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