Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
