im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
