he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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