I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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