so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
