Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
