so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
