so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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