Soap is not a condiment
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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