My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
