can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize