since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
