Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I believe in your delicious
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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