He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
