And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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