I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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