Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
