Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
