He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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