forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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