guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
