I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
