she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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