You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
True strength comes from lack of pants
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
