I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
