I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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