Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
