Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
