My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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