Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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