This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
