operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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