How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
