Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
