Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
