next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
