: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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