What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
