Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
