so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if only i could text you this smell
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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