Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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